This is my story

Firstly I would like to thank all the staff on the detox unit who do an amazing job. I came in for my detox in December a frail and sick woman. I’ve never been here before but you all gave me care and respect. I will never forget that, thank you all.

While I was here for my detox I started going to the groups, again I’ve never been to a structured day programme before. Well these groups were the start of my recovery and my journey. At first I used to sit and listen, I was too afraid to speak. But I will never forget something Reece said, he said “you are privileged to be here”. At first I didn’t understand. Here you are in a safe environment and you can be you. That struck a chord with me – I didn’t know who I was anymore, for out there I was just EXISTING. It’s like being on a treadmill, doing the same stuff every day and feeling nothing. Reece was right, I took in what he told me and that was it – I was like a sponge in the groups. I wanted to learn more. Then there’s Scott who says it how it is. That’s why I have a lot of respect for him. He touched a nerve with me too in one of the groups about letting go of the past and that’s what I had to do. So with Rachel, Gemma, Paul, Reece and Scott – being in these groups can change your life.

My Journey

Firstly I needed to heal, I was so ill physically and mentally. I did this journey for myself. I focused on me, no one else, I had to, – I didn’t like who I was anymore. You have to become selfish at the start of this programme. Reece was right we are privileged to be here. In the last eight months I know more about myself than I have in my entire life. The Honesty Group, Moodmasters, Relapse Prevention, Feelings Group and the SMART group all helped me in what I’m going to take with me, the tools I’ve learnt for moving on in my recovery. I now LIKE who I am, in fact I LOVE who I am! I have to let go of my past, I can’t change it. What happened to me as a child, the weight of those boulders I carried in the rucksack on my back for many years, have one by one been thrown into the stream. I’ve come to accept it. That was then, this is now.

The day I opened up to my mother’s death was such an emotional and uplifting experience. Again feeling safe in this environment and not going to be judged was like a weight off my shoulders. Like Scott said “We have to let it go”. I did and have. By being honest and open in these groups and focusing on me, the rest came together like a jigsaw.

And if you really want to change your life, you can at New Beginnings. I am now abstinent from alcohol for nine months. I still take one day at a time, by focusing on myself, learning to love myself, to forgive myself, to let go of the past and to turn to the next page. To start the next chapter of my life and knowing with the coping skills I have learnt here is just exciting.

Before I came here I lost all respect for myself. I was ill, lost my job, and lost all respect from my son. I didn’t see my granddaughter. Basically I was a mess. Now I love who I am. I have the love and respect from my beautiful son and his awesome wife. I see my grandchildren often. I have been on a college course, I’m shadowing Paul in the SMART groups and I’m on the mentoring course. Most of all I am happy. I am truly blessed. I just want to thank everyone who has gone through this journey with me.

Thank you. Never stop believing!